


The Snape Who Stole Christmas

by storyplease



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Humor, Parody, Poetry, grinch snape, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 18:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17309315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyplease/pseuds/storyplease
Summary: Belatedly posting a holiday poem in the spirit of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas...only Snape-themed.





	The Snape Who Stole Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Reposting a poem I am quite fond of that I wrote awhile back on Tumblr in case Tumblr finally goes down in flames.

He didn’t dress up as the Grinch,

He would never have done,

He did not like the costume,

Or the Christmasy fun,

 

That was linked with this story,

A Muggle-known rhyme

Were it not for that Cracker,

He’d not have the time,

 

With a flash and a sizzle,

And a flurry of green,

And some gold, and some glitter,

A new image was seen.

 

No more Potions professor,

That stood there, instead,

There was only a Grinch,

Who thunderously said,

 

“YOU DAMNED FOOL HEADMASTER!

YOU PLANNED THIS, YOU LOUT!

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS?”

 

Then he turned with a shout,

And he twisted his wand, yes,

Then twisted some more,

And all of the trees,

Flew out of the door,

The Great Hall was strung up,

With tinsel and holly,

But the Snape Grinch just laughed,

(Though not at all jolly),

 

“You wanted a grinch?”

He said with a sneer,

“Fine, then, I’ll steal

All your Christmas this year!”

 

And with a billowing of green,

(While they all stared in shock),

He Vanished the decor,

And the holiday clock,

Which the school used each Christmas,

To count down till the day,

“Now there’ll be no rejoicing,

No damned holiday!”

 

With a villainous smile,

The Snape Grinch then fled,

He snatched all the presents

Then boarded a sled,

 

“You dunderheads sicken me,”

He said, in a funk,

“You think it is funny,

To force me into this junk.

However, this joke,

Is beyond you, I fear.”

 

He transfigured a sleigh,

And summoned reindeer.

They then flew away 

like the down on a thistle,

Which was so very impressive,

Dumbledore gave a whistle.

And they heard him exclaim,

As he drove out of sight,

“Bugger Christmas you all,

Snape is out for the night!”


End file.
